Information sheet: Stress
Stress
How do we define stress?
Stress results from not getting our needs met and from feeling overwhelmed by demands that go beyond our ability to cope.
What is the solution to stress?
We do not naturally hold on to tension. When our needs are not met or we are in a tight corner, we naturally release our stress. This increases our energy so we can meet the difficulty.
We can then express our feelings and make efforts to change our circumstances. We can refuse what we do not want. We can move out of a bad situation.
So why do we get stressed?
We get stressed when we inhibit expression of our feelings.
There can be a number of reasons why we do this. We may be afraid to make fools of ourselves. We may be afraid to be seen to be afraid by those we need to protect or wish to impress. We may be afraid to show feelings that might increase hostility in someone who is hurting us. We may be afraid to appear demanding. We may be afraid to get out of control.
For one reason or another, we fear the consequences of expressing our feelings. We will have learned this quite early in our lives.
What happens when we get stressed?
Holding back feelings always involves holding in the breath. The brain is then not sufficiently stimulated by oxygen to enable us to clearly see ways to either change our circumstances or escape from them. Held or reduced breathing requires a tensing of those muscles that are used in breath-ing. This affects other muscle groups throughout the body and drains our energy so that any new action becomes difficult.
Repeated stresses that are not released can produce long-term exhaustion that keeps us stuck in painful situations and repetitive behaviours. Lack of energy becomes a basic source of discouragement when we want to move towards more fulfilling experiences.
How does this happen without us noticing?
The pain of held breathing, tensed muscles and stiff joints should act as a warning signal. However, when pain persists without its cause being recognised and resolved, the body produces biochemical substances called endorphins. These are the body’s natural painkillers that work to deaden the signals of pain. So the warnings pass unheeded and over time we can develop stress-related conditions and beha-viours. The endorphins act as an anaesthetic, so illnesses can gradually build up without us noticing anything until the symptoms become undeniable.
What conditions and behaviours are stress-related?
Stress-related conditions include anxiety, panic attacks, depression, lack of confidence, forgetfulness, phobias, insom-nia, asthma, migraine, epilepsy, back and joint problems, stomach ulcers, bowel problems, high blood pressure, PMT, ME, allergies, skin disorders and sexual problems.
Stress-related behaviours include aggressiveness, withdrawal, over-dependency, addictions, overeating, bulimia, ano-rexia and self-harm.
Some people claim to enjoy stress; can stress ever be good for us?
Stress as such is never good for us. If we say we enjoy it, aren’t we just putting on a brave face?
However, any stress that does feel good is better called a challenge. A moderate degree of a healthy kind of demand can stimulate the need to find creative solutions, venture beyond what we already know, interact with others and explore our inner and outer environments. When our lives lack challenges we can become stressed simply through feel-ing bored, under-used and discouraged.
How can Counselling & Therapy help?
Talking problems through with a friend or partner can be useful; but there may be a natural limit to their ability to accept and understand the stresses we are trying to release, and their familiarity with us may not enable them to be unbiased.
An experienced Centre worker can help us help ourselves with our emotional stress. A skilled and impartial listener can assist us to release held emotions, initially by providing a confidential opportunity for us to talk about them and get them off our chest. Our stresses can be sensitively explored at our own pace while gentle encouragement is given to our inner self-healing powers so that we can recover blocked energy and meet life on more equal terms.