Double-binds

Double-binds are the basic structures underlying all forms of emotional stress. Primarily, a need has not been met, and secondarily, our dissatisfaction and disappointment has not been expressed. Inhibition of expression of feelings is a strategy we might have learned as a result of self-expression having got us into hot water in the past. Memories of painful past events tend to be automatically projected into the future, where we fearfully anticipate their recurrence. The past then stands as an obstacle to us getting our needs met in the present.

Double-binds can become firmly established in our lives. Fear of consequences may compel us to seek out some substitute for the need that has been denied and often also for the unexpressed feelings. Here a vicious circle – the repetitive, cyclical nature of the double-bind – can become established. Double-binds lies at the root of all addictive and self-abusive behaviours and all of those habitual reactions to life’s difficulties that fail to make any positive difference.

We might have great difficulty challenging double-binds unaided because they persist beneath the level of conscious awareness and control, and because their roots are often to be found in our early experiences.